Love Is The Cure

Richard and Marlene Butcher share an unbroken love affair of 66 years. 

By Kimberley Cummins

For many people when they hear the dreaded “C” word, cancer, various emotions come rushing towards them.

Namely: anger, sadness, and anxiety.

For Richard Butcher when he learnt of his diagnosis the first emotion that consumed him was fear. Not so much fear of the disease but the fear of having to tell his wife, then of 45 years and lover of an additional six, Marlene the devastating news.

The couple who share four children, Martin, Ann, Jean and Michael, have been sweethearts from the time she was 12 and he was 18 years old.

They met in 1953 while rehearsing in the choir at the St Albans Anglican Church in St Albans, St James.

She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.- Richard

Actually, as Richard told the story, initially Marlene never really took notice of him; it was while existing the vestry room at church that she first caught his eyes.

According to him, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

“I said ‘wow!’ and I went up to her and say ‘girl I love you bad, I gine marry to you’," he lovingly recounted as they both started to giggle in a recent interview at their Lower Weston, St James home.

Her response in part to what she considered were ‘force ripe” comments at the time was: “How you come telling me such a thing and you don’t even know anything about me?”

But Richard had already made up his mind from that one meeting, and even after learning about her young age he was still determined that there would be no other “Mrs Butcher”.

Marlene said that after persistent prodding that included letters to her parents, love messages sent to her via his sister and other gimmicks she finally decided to give him a chance.

Since 1953 when Richard caught a glimpse of Marlene he
has not been able to take his eyes off her since. 

In August 1959, a month before her 18 th birthday, she and Richard were hanging out after a service when he turned to her and said “pick a date”, his way of proposing. Richard’s only stipulation was that it had to be before Christmas that same year.  Marlene agreed and less than four months later on December 19 the two strolled out of St Mary’s Anglican Church in Bridgetown as husband and wife.

In terms of money, the first few years were tough to say the least but with each other they made it work. Created a loving home, expanded their brood, with Marlene becoming a stay-at-home mum and a seamstress on the side and Richard a postman.

For years, life for the family of six couldn’t get any sweeter. Grandchildren came, they all travelled together, family affairs were the times they most treasured. But it took a wrong turn when in 2004 they reached their biggest obstacle yet when a routine doctor’s examination showed that Richard’s prostate was swollen. Six months later, a biopsy confirmed the octogenarian’s cancer diagnosis.

As a result specialist suggested that to treat it Richard should undergo Brachytherapy. At that time, not much was known about the treatment other than it is a type of radiation therapy used to treat cancer by placing radioactive sources inside the patient to kill cancer cells and shrink tumours.

The decision to undergo this treatment was easy, however the hardest part came when he returned home to break the news to Marlene.

Marlene remembered that day as if it was just yesterday.

“I had read a lot of information, it said that once you get a biopsy that cancer is suspected. So I was still in between feeling that it was going to turn out that way but still I didn’t want it to turn out that way. When he came home I was pressing a shirt because he was going to a funeral and he just come in and say Marlene girl bad news and I started to cry as I hear him say that. I had expected that that would be it,” she recounted.

The Butchers (centre) along with family at their vow renewal
ceremony at the family church. 

  If ever a silver lining, it was that the cancer was found on only half of the prostate and the fortified couple, along with three of their children flew down to Trinidad to have the procedure done.

Richard insisted that the recovery time wasn’t at all difficult, by the evening his family took him to a restaurant for dinner and he was back to eating like normal.

There were some follow-up tests and a clean bill of health was given a few months after.

Almost 16 years later, Richard, 84 and Marlene, 78 are still thankful for their life together and having  recently celebrated their diamond-wedding anniversary they are still two peas in a husk, as Richard put it.

And according to the outspoken Richard, even though the cancer would have affected the ability of his penis to get as erect as it did in his youth, “once you love the person and make love to them you, what else matters?”

According to the Butchers, love is all they need.

“We’ve been married for 60 years but it doesn’t feel like it. It has been so good that it feels as if we just married the other day,” Richard reflected as Marlene looked on with a broad grin.

“When we married I said this is for life,” he added.

Their secret to a flourishing union was maintaining openness, great communication, indulging in lots of sex with each other and love.

Walking down the aisle, hand in hand again.